Trying this blogging thing out.....

So.....I often feel as if I have lots to say and to post every thought on my facebook account would be annoying to everyone on my friends list. I have thought of blogging and it wasn't until a friend said to me after a quiet evening discussion--"you should have a blog", that I thought more seriously about it. I have had some recent issues that have caused me to re-evaluate my life, to think of things differently than I had before, and to share those new thoughts with my closest friends (and now you devoted readers). In September, I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. And, I don't mind sharing with you all now that coming to this diagnosis almost took my life. I was in denial all summer about what was happening to my body and though I did seek help, my doctor only sidestepped issues and made things seem like they were less severe and I was happy to hear that--after all, who wants to hear that you have a chronic, debilitating illness? So, in September, after a long, painful night, I went to the ER like I promised my devoted husband I would if I had more severe pain than I've had before. After a quick CT scan, I was admitted to the hospital with the thoughts that I had either Crohn's or a severe Inflammatory Bowel Disease. The first night in the hospital I was told I was lucky to be alive--my levels of potassium, magnesium, calcium and every other known mineral were so off, that 20 bags of "things" hung from my IV pole. I was never so scared in my life. I went in and out of a feverish haze for the next 12 hours only to emerge in the AM with a new sense of my life and what I had gone through. My body had not been absorbing anything and I had lost 18 pounds and was severely dehydrated but was now making headway! Long story short, this diagnosis has changed my life. It has deepened my faith, changed my relationship with God (for the better), and made my overall attitude a little better. I have a friend who is coming out of the tail-end of having Hodgkins Lymphoma and commiserating with her occasionally I have discovered several things about myself. It's ok to have this happen to us. Worse things happen to people every singe day. It is not a punishment from God and may, in fact, be a blessing. It's ok to cry every now and then even if you are a strong soul and don't really like people seeing you as anything but. And, knowing that worse things happen to people everyday doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel sorry for yourself occasionally--because this is the worst thing to happen to me. I have come to realize that I have the most extraordinary group of friends that any girl could ask for. Friends that put their life on hold for an entire week to see to it that my needs were fulfilled. To be blessed like that is an immeasurable gift and one that I won't take lightly ever again. Because, you see, when you see how hard life can be, it is only the people who surround you that matter. I have the MOST AMAZING husband a woman could ever want. And, I don't say that lightly. He has had the roughest months a man could ever have. A wife that used to take care of him all of the time wasn't able to. He took care of EVERYTHING and still continues to take care of far more than he used to. And, I never hear one ounce of disappointment from him. Not a sigh. Nothing. He does it because he loves me more than he loves himself, I think. This experience has aged him. I can see the looks of worry as he watches me suffer sometimes and I know that its because he wants to be able to do something to help me but in the end there is nothing he can do and that helpless feeling is what bothers him the most. It bothers me too. We do not have control over what happens in our lives--and learning that lesson can be painful. But, it can also be liberating!

First post down.....if you like, please come visit again! :)"